Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Guided Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. I'm your host, John Stillman. This is a journaling episode about control. So if you're new to the podcast, go listen to episode one for an explanation of how this podcast works. If you've already done so, then you know I'm going to give you some prompts to journal about that are related to the upcoming episodes. So make sure you have your journal handy. In this episode, we'll be journaling about one of the most foundational ideas in Stoicism, understanding what is within our complete control and what is not. If you're driving right now, this is not the podcast for you. None of our episodes go particularly well with driving, except episode one. And this one especially requires reflection. So feel free to come back to it later. If you're not driving, find something to jot your thoughts down with: a notebook, your phone, a tablet, a chalkboard. It doesn't matter, whatever you're most comfortable with. Before we get into the journaling prompts, let's talk briefly about why this idea matters so much in Stoicism. Epictetus opens his Enchiridian with a simple but powerful statement. Some things are in our power and others are not. According to the Stoics, what is fully within our control are things like our opinions, our impulses, our desires, and our aversions. What is not within our control includes other people's outcomes, our reputation, our health, the past, and most external events. To put it more simply, anything that happens inside our minds other than physical properties of the brain, such as damage or limitations on memory, for instance, are inside of our complete control. Anything outside of our minds is not within our complete control because there are other forces causing things to happen. For instance, being hit by a car is not within our complete control, but how we mentally react to the injury or any perceived injustice is within our complete control. Sure, we can prepare and make sure that we're crossing the street safely, but that doesn't guarantee our safety. And ultimately, if something like this happens, you are the one responsible for your mental state and how you respond. If someone did something illegal to put you in that position, pressing charges against that person because you feel slighted and you feel an injustice needs to be corrected is not the best way to look at things. The focus should be on what is virtuous in this situation. And the virtuous path would be to forgive that person, put yourself in the best possible mental state for recovery, and press charges in an attempt to prevent someone else from suffering the same fate. Notice the difference there. It's not to press charges to make yourself feel better. It's press charges to prevent something similar from happening to someone else. The outcome of that court case will be outside your complete control because the only thing that is within your complete control is your own thoughts, emotions, and actions. If you are doing it to correct an injustice, you feel that you've suffered and the outcome does not go your way, then you feel that there is now a greater injustice and you feel even worse. However, if you do it in an attempt to prevent it from happening to somebody else and it does not go your way, you have done your part and the rest is out of your complete control. It's not about being on a personal crusade, it's about doing your civic duty. Much of our stress, anger, anxiety, and frustration comes from confusing these two categories, from trying to control what cannot be controlled and neglecting responsibility for what can. Stress, anxiety, anger, and frustration can almost always be boiled down to a broken expectation that we hold. And we hold those expectations for things and people we cannot control. And if you haven't figured it out yet, expectations are within our complete control because they reside entirely in our mind. They're our expectations. Marcus Aurelius reminds himself of this repeatedly in meditations, often returning to the idea that while the world may do as it pleases, we always retain control over how we respond. Journaling about this distinction helps train the mind. It sharpens awareness, it allows us to pause, reflect, and gradually rewire our default reactions to life. So let's explore the idea together. As always, feel free to pause the podcast whenever you need more time to write. So, first question. When you think about your current life, what situations or areas cause you the most frustration, stress, or emotional turbulence right now? Next question. Looking at each of these situations, ask yourself honestly, what parts of this are truly within my control and what parts are not? Be specific. Separate actions, judgment, and intentions from outcomes and other people's behavior. Next, how often do you find yourself emotionally reacting to things that are outside of your control? Such as other people's opinions, unexpected events, or results you cannot guarantee. What does that reaction usually look like? Next question. What is always within your control, even in difficult situations? Consider things like your attitude, your effort, your words, your values, your willingness to act with patience, courage, or restraint? Write down a few examples from your own life. Next question. What might that have looked like? Next question. What expectations do you currently place on the world, on other people, or on yourself that may be unrealistic or outside your control? Next one? Marcus Aurelius often reminded himself that external events are neutral. It's our judgment that makes them feel good or bad. What judgments do you tend to make automatically? Are there any that you could challenge, soften, or reframe? And the final question, how can you use journaling as a daily or weekly practice to check in with yourself and ask, am I focusing my energy on what I can control or am I trying to fight reality? What would be a simple control check-in for you? Take a moment to look over what you've written. This distinction between what is within our control and what is not is not something that we master once. It's a lifelong practice. Even the Stoics themselves had to remind themselves daily. By journaling about it, you're strengthening your ability to meet life as it is, rather than as you wish it to be. And that is at the heart of Stoic tranquility. When you're ready, you can move on to the guided meditation episode on this same topic where we will work with these ideas at a deeper, more subconscious level. Thanks for stopping by, and we'll catch you in the next episode.